Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Monday Day 33; Wahl's Way Day 16

Wishing I could gt my head together more. I am doing OK. Just not awesome.

My weight went back down, my Wii tells me that it will be hard for me to met my goal. Don't I want to make a new goal? Hell, I've been doing that my whole life. I don't need that suggestion. I shut the Wii off, eat egg and spinach for breakfast and leave totally frustrated.

I'm not sure where the day went. I didn't have a book to read. I went to Barnes and Noble but I don't think I read. Just one of those days. ;)

Tomorrow will be better.

My BMI was back at 38.48. Tired of hanging around here.

What I would really like is to be attacked by creativity. To have that happen I must plant butt in chair.No more FaceBook. LOL

Looked into Blip, I would really like to do a series...

Sunday Day 32; Wahl's Way Day 15

So today I hopped out of bed, got on my wii, weighed myself, found out I was up 3.8 pounds and just kinda went ouchee. Then it started to rain and I had to run outside and do a bunch of stuff.

Nothing else really happened except that I went to Whataburger and had a double meat Whataburger Junior.  Frustrating day.

I looked at the damn weather channel. It said it will rain at such and such a time. That is when it didn't rain. The biggest problem was that I had no way to know that the weather channel was going to be so wrong and actually had used it to plan my day. I'd be inside when I should have been outside and outside when I needed to be in. Just a totally screwed up day.

Other than the Whataburger Junior I ate well. I didn't do much otherwise.

I'm not good with rain I'd planned t try to play water volleyball. It rained.

I was out of sync the whole day. Ugh

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Saturday Day 31; Wahl's Way Day 14

Today the scale said that I had gained 3.8 pounds. It was not the happiest day of my life. I also know that I am not feeling really wonderful. even after that I was still feeling better mentally and physically than I had in a while.

My goal today was to get outside and  start to move more. I did do that. I took a book outside and worked some after every chapter.I vacuumed leaves off my dark green carpet, I combined grapefruit and put some in the refrigerator. Plants got watered, the orange tree got watered. I picked tomatoes and a pepper or two.

I also cooked a healthy breakfast (spinach and eggs), made a large salad for lunch an had burgers and sweet potatoes for dinner. I had a couple of extra eggs for a snack, That is pretty close to the way that I want to eat and I met my physical goal of just getting outside and enjoying the sun and outside air a little  more than I did yesterday.

Tomorrow my goal is to eat well again and get outside in the morning. Mornings are hard on me. I want to be able to get up, do a little yoga, eat and get outside to do some outside work. I want to prune the grapefruit tree.

Working on getting it all together. It's lowly coming together, but not as quickly as I want.

after today, I am just going to put up my BMI. That's my goal anyway to lower my BMI to a healthy level.

Quick pot today. I'm hot and still not feeling wel.

When I am in pain, I sweat constantly. Today has been oe of those days. It was nice that the RGV Vipers won the NBA D-league penant. Again.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Friday Day 30; Wahl's Way Day 13

Posts have been missing for the past couple of days because I did not feel well. I didn't eat according to the Wahl's Way on Wednesday. I did on Thursday and almost did today. One thing about today is that I ended up with welts on my arms and elbows. I am not really sure why.

My weight was the same on Wednesday as Tuesday. I didn't weigh either Thursday or today. I'll try to weigh tomorrow but I need to be up before 7 to take some pics. 

But I want to take a minute to look at what the differences are between my life now and my life 30 days ago. And there are some differences. 


  • much more likely to eat in a healthy way. Many more fruits and vegetables
  • willing to try new places to buy things, new veggie stands, new fruit markets, trucks by the side of the road
  • more in tune with my body, if I don't feel well I am not as likely to beat me up
  • not as depressed
  • able to move more
  • writing more
  • able to and want to do more in the park
  • eating less food now, even on bad days
  • often (not always) able to stay away from foods that are triggers if I don't eat breads
  • cooking 2 meals a day, having a salad for the third meal

I'm not:

  • moving as much as I wish I was
  • hanging outside as much as I wish I was
  • losing as much weight as I wish I was

It's funny, but earlier today, I was very unhappy with myself because I wasn't moving more. But as I look at what is and has happened. and the changes that are occurring, I am feeling much better. I'm not sure just how to work on moving more. 

It was easier to do the yoga consistently when the temps were lower. I am still much more willing to move, but just how I do that in a way that will work for me, I am not sure. What I do know is that I need to move more to lose weight. 

There are more than a couple of choices that are available to me. 

I can:

  • go back to doing yoga sometime during the day if not in the morning
  • do HIIT (High Intensive Interval Training) Bike, treadmill, at my trailer
  • do aerobics
  • use a pedometer app and keep track of steps (go for a walk)
  • play more water volleyball

I feel better than I have in years. Habits are what I seem to be fighting. It's an interesting place to be. When I stop fighting my need to be a certain sedentary way, (and that way isn't necessary or what I want anymore) then I will be able to go where and how I want. 

I hope I become able to start tomorrow. :)

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Tuesday Day 27 The Wahl's Way Day 10

Today I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep, even though I tried to get back to sleep.

Two things about that:

  1. I woke up exhausted. I think that the combination of exercise yesterday and not enough sleep is helping me be sluggish and tired. 
  2. My weight is up .4 pounds. I know that is normal fluctuation but I've noticed when I get to sleep until I don't feel tired and sluggish, I not only feel better but have the opportunity to have my body heal. It doesn't feel healed today. 
I got up realizing that I hadn't gone shopping for eggs last night. I got interested in some research that I was doing for some articles posted on the Yahoo! Contributors Network and time just flew by. After I started researching things, the eggs never entered my mind again.

Part of my trying to get a more balanced life has been to take a look at what has and hasn't been working while I am trying to earn at least some of my money online. It's been slow going because my online work has been sporadic. What has worked wasn't what I expected to have work. 

I will say that one reason that I haven't earned more is that I stopped what was working because I didn't think it was working well enough. People would tell me things like 
  • You can't earn enough working here
  • You can't work enough working there
  • The up front pay rate is miserable
  • Google doesn't work well
  • You can't trust this or that

What I realize now is that after looking at the content I have up, it's pays a little at a time, but it continues to pay each month. And a lot of "littles" add up. I'm looking to supplement my current income, not earn a full time income. In that respect, I am doing well. Every month I earn money for something I did years ago.

I'm going to continue eating well today, headed off to have a salad and a nap then have one of my favorite dinners of a hamburger with stir fried cabbage and onions. 

Might exercise today and I might not. Today is one of those days I might choose to say, it's not worth working extra hard so I can lose that pound today. My body needs to rest and heal some. Then I can choose what I want to do. I need to work that recovery cycle. It's true in all kinds of stress.

Actually later it would be great if I could work on some intervals or some yoga. Either one might help my body not feel so kinked. But adequate rest is first.

Weight:244.9 BMI 38.44

Monday, April 22, 2013

Monday Day 26 The Wahl's Way Day 9

I can lose a pound any day I want to.

I did a lot of thinking about those words that I read yesterday. When I got up and weighed myself, my weight was down a bit. That meant that since the Wii glitched yesterday, I had to reset a new goal today. I am still not back into doing morning yoga. I cleaned the kitchen instead. Still, every time I thought about just going to the swimming pool to laze around, I realized it meant I was choosing to not lose weight.

Wowsa. What is that about actions speaking louder than words?

What were those words again? Oh yeah...

I can lose a pound any day I want to.

I got myself out the door to the weight room and did 20 minutes of HIIT(high intensity interval training) on a recumbent bicycle.Then I went to the swimming pool and lazed around for 45 minutes. Instead of going home though I played water volleyball for an hour. 

The only way I can lose a pound any day I want to is if I want it enough to get out the door to actually do something. And although I wanted to lose pounds before, too often I would just not want to face the needing to move more to do it. 

I can diet and eat the Wahl's Way and lose weight for quite a while. But for me to get healthy and lose weight like I want to and not look like a flabby wench then I have to move and tighten muscles and skin. 

Eating The Wahl's Way

When I got up this morning, I was excited again about eating better. The Whataburger craving didn't start before breakfast. I ate food before noon so that craving might not hit me as hard at the end of the day. Started out with spinach and eggs. 

What was interesting was that I was even more happy to eat the spinach after reading about it being such a super-food yesterday. I like spinach. It was working. I'm not at all sure why I didn't just keep going with what worked and made me feel good. 

Anytime one can eat and not have massive problems following that way of eating one should follow that wae of eating if it is going to enhance one's health.

Is Exercise Really Necessary?

Hmmm, great question, isn't it? I could lose a lot just by eating right. What I am not sure about is ifI would like the way my body would look after I was done losing. When I swim, bike or play volleyball, I feel physically better. When I feel physically better I find it helps me want to eat more healthily. I started out with exercise. It was helping me lose weight but I didn't feel in control of the process enough to where I wouldn't overeat or eat things I knew weren't really good for me. 

the Audio on this Video isn't awesome, but the last 3 minutes of the vid demonstrate what HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) is. It's what I did when I lost the first 50 and it's still what I like to do to burn fat. 

Here is another type of HIIT that one can do at home without any equipment. 

I feel really good today. That could just be because the humidity is lower or it could be the exercise or it could be that I was able to eat well and not go running around town all day today.

Monday Weight: 244.5  BMI 38.37

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Sunday Day 25 The Wahl's Way Day 8

Today was a little frustrating and disheartening. I got up, weighed myself and my trusty Wii said that I had gained over a pound (close to 2 pounds actually) and requested that I set a new goal since I had reached my goal. Hmmm, that's not how it's supposed to work. At all.

I was already having trouble staying as motivated as I wish I was.

So I sighed, got up, grabbed a couple of boiled eggs, ate one, threw the other away, hopped on my motorcycle and headed over to church. Listened to a person talk about how instead of 20% of the people doing 80% of the work and how we as a church we need to change that around. So of course my mind rolled through the OK, I guess we need 80% of the people doing 20% of the work. Also heard the words "Get thee behind me Satan!" which was whoa, Biblical flashback time.

A paper was handed out asking for people to volunteer.  I must be one of the group percentage that isn't going to do bo-diddly. I peeked at someone else's paper and it talked about marketing, membership with something else being bundled in. There was no social media slot available so I gave the paper back. I don't really like to volunteer when an organization has no idea where it is going. I've got one of those happening already and it's hard.

Ran over to Barnes and Noble. My friend is looking into The Aztec Diet by Dr. Bob Arnot and I wanted to read up a bit on what she was looking into. It was an interesting book full of Chia smoothies that I didn't fully appreciate but there was one saying that he said that slapped me upside my head. 

I can lose a pound any day I want to.

And it occurred to me that I while i have been working on getting healthy, I haven't exactly been working on losing that pound a day. So I really haven't been losing that pound a day. So I need to not only eat well, but work on losing that pound a day.

Because that is the way that life is. Each day I make choices and those choices affect how I feel, how healthy I become and how thin I am. That's true of all of us, everyday of our lives but we often choose to forget it.

Overall today, I did OK. I didn't fall into the rice treats at Barnes and Noble. I didn't fall into Whataburger on the way home from Barnes and Noble. It was close, but I didn't. Instead I chose to say, lets eat healthy first and then if I still want something I can deviate if I truly need to. This is the third day that is the way I have made it through without eating something that I want but don't want but it's been close.

I haven't done everything perfectly but it has been over a week since I have had any grain products. My quality of life is better which is a large part of what I was looking for. Not as I want it, but better.

Those words I can lose a pound any day I want to; stayed with me and I chose to go for a walk before I came over to write tonight because they are true for me, especially right now:

I can lose a pound any day I want to.


Sunday Weight: 245.8 BMI 38.68

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Saturday Day 24 The Wahl's Way Day 7

Today started off great for me. I lost weight and met the goal I had set ahead of time 

Should My Goal Be To Lose Weight or Just Be More Healthy?

Sometimes I worry about setting a goal for my weight loss and think I should just set the goal for being healthy. 

In the past the only goal I could see progress in was if I was losing weight or losing inches. I was measureing or weighing myself everyday and desperate to make any change I needed to make to to drop the weight. Any change. That weight needed to be gone and it needed to be gone now. I not only felt but was out of control.  My body continually wanted to binge and I wanted to exercise to just try to blast the weight off my body. What helps me the most is that I no longer need what is often called the instant reward. 

In so many ways that is no longer true because the desperation is gone. I know that I have an answer that I can use at any time to maintain my weight. I have 3 or 4 answers that will work when I want to maintain if I struggle to keep at the weight. 

It's helpful that the desperation is gone. It's hard to lose weight or become more healthy when one's life is ruled by stress. I know that I can lose weight eating the way that I am right now as I am down 15 pounds in a little less than 30 days. It won't be a full 30 days until Saturday. 

I know that I can lose weight faster than that if/when I add in exercise. My exercise has been sporadic. I like to do morning yoga, but am running into a problem with my having a lack of routine. I like to do yoga in the morning around 10 and then laze over breakfast. Three days a week, this isn't really possible for me, especially if I want to hangout with my friends.

In those 3 days, I face the temptations that are going to be a part of the rest of my life if I want to continue running around with the friends I have and enjoy, so it is very important for me to learn how to deal with the temptations I will face every week for the rest of my life. I chose these limited problem areas to keep happening while I gain better control of my eating for the rest of this 90 days. 

Temptations I Choose to Face in the Future: 

Wonderful block parties that happen for 3-5 months at least once a week in the winter
Terrible food at training's (better than it used to be, but not what I need it to be)
Terrible options at state meetings (bagels, cream cheese, sandwiches, chips, etc)
Chinese Food that a friend and I eat together
Mexican Food that a friend and I eat together
Cookies, cereals and desserts at my mom's house

I know those problems are there and that I will run into them at a later time. It is my hope that I will find solutions in the situations that I am choosing to face and deal  with now.

Situations With Temptations I Choose to Face Now: 

Brunch at The Country Waffle and Pancake House every Wednesday(need a better answer)
Doughnuts at the park meetings on Thursdays
Riding with the Romeo(Retired Old Motorcyclists Eating Out) Motorcycle Riders on Fridays to different restaurants that I don't know well
Saturday morning breakfast with people from the park
Sunday breakfast with the Romeo Motorcycle Riders 

Temptations I've Already Learned to Deal With:

McDonalds for the most part.
Whataburger (I've learned but am still very tempted)
Dinners at the park (pass on the cake and the bun, very doable) Pancake breakfasts, not so doable.

No Grains for the Rest of My Life?

Do I really think I will want to go without grains for the rest of my life? I don't know. I'd like to at least be able to eat a sliver of this or that. Is that logical or realistic? Probably not. Right now eating grains leads me down path's to temptations that I can't handle. When I eat wheat, it causes cravings that are hard for me to face. Three and Four days later I am struggling to not eat sugar and more bread. 

Allow me to explain. If I eat french toast on Wednesdays (and gosh it is good) and then go to Barnes and Noble, I end up ordering a rice krispy treat. If I am not careful I end up ordering smoothies at McDonald's or a Whataburger Junior. Things have gotten better. In the past I would inhale Milk Duds when I wanted sugar. I've stopped that but still have to face other things. 

In one of the groups I run, someone said, "Why don't people just stop?". Well, gee, I'll get right on that. Big grin. 

It's taken me quite a while to learn and to search for options that will work. 

This is Day 7 of my starting to learn how to want to eat the Wahl's Diet Way. I've learned a lot. If I choose to eat foods of different colors, my body feels a lot better. When I was told to eat more veggies before, I am not sure if I ever really realized just how much of the different colors I needed. Everyone said, "eat more green leafy veggies and you will lose weight." And I did eat more of the green leafy veggies. It really didn't work well for me. Many said "stay away from fruits, they add calories and are high in sugar." I tried to stay away from them but would end up binge eating on sugar from another source.  

Do I feel like a rabbit? Not really. Or if I do I must not really care right now. I am just totally thrilled that I am feeling better and have more energy. 

Weight: 244.1 BMI 38.30

Friday, April 19, 2013

Friday Day 23 The Wahl's Way Day 6

Today has been nice and cool.

Wahl's Diet Day 6 

My diet varied today as I didn't feel well and needed to go shopping to get more spinach and lettuce in my refrigerator. A big bummer for me is that I am almost out of oranges and I really like them on my salad. There are oranges I can buy in the store but most that I see are much too big. The one's on the tree I like have seeds but are smaller and much sweeter than the oranges I find in a store. They have been a great fruit to have as a part of my diet. I will probably add apples. 

Today I stared at a bag of frozen fruit. I love frozen fruit while it is hot, but this month especially; I am on a budget. I am thinking a bag of apples will work out better to help me reach the end of the month. More bang for the buck. I can go back tomorrow. I also need to get some more eggs. They work well on salads and I also enjoy them for breakfast. 

For breakfast, I ate spinach with a few other greens and eggs as I needed to use up the greens. 
I had liver and onions for lunch (a lot of onion as I am struggling to get the veggies in today). 
For dinner I ate a burger stir fried up with cabbage, red cabbage and carrots. 

I added the liver as I definitely wasn't feeling well. Hoping to get some more energy.

Craving a Whataburger Jr.

It was a tough day. I started out wanting to eat a Whataburger junior and apple slices. It's interesting that I now would crave apple slices rather than fries. The last time I got fries I took 2 bites, realized they didn't taste that great but ate them anyway. Now I would rather have apple slices. Life can be strange sometimes. I just kept holding off on the Whataburger minute, by minute, by minute. 

Other than not feeling well, I feel more healthy. Much better health wise. My body feels better. I don't have intense sweet cravings now. I woke up with a headache and that could be my body wanting sugar. Sugar also happens when one eats a bread product. 

Weight: 245.6 BMI 38.55 

Edited 20  April 2013 to correct Wahl's diet day.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Thursday Day 22 The Wahl's Way Day 5

Carb Flu

I've been having trouble not feeling awesome today. I got up, went to the park meeting, and got in the pool, but today I felt sluggish. It got progressively worse as the day went by. I'm not really sure why. It's like my muscles are tight. It could be that I am getting some kind of carb flu.

I have a headache that Tylenol won't get rid of. The time frame is about right too. The Smoothie that I had at McDonald's on Wednesday although not the worst choice I could have made, was high in sugar. When I eat wheat and corn syrup is when I get the highest sugar rush. The Mango-Pineapple Smoothie has some of that. I should have check more before I drank. But I didn't want to do that. I wanted what I wanted. I wanted to use the excuse that I could get a Mango-Pineapple Smoothie because I needed to cool down. I didn't need on that bad.

Hind-sight is 20/20. The Smoothie Started Some Cravings

All I can do is learn from the experience. That Smoothie started up some cravings. I wanted this, it would make me feel better. Or I wanted that...It would really help me feel better. I went on FB and drooled over pics of brownies and cakes. When I lose this much, I will have a sliver in celebration.

At some point i will have to deal with "what am I going to do for celebration if what I want is just a craving that might help me feel worse for a day or two." Or even worse what if it makes it hard to get back into this way of eating again. That would be terrible.

Wahl's Way Helps Me Feel Better.

My knees feel better, even when the humidity is high. My hands feel better. I can think much better at times and somewhat better at others. What that means is that I need to keep doing what I am doing not celebrate in a way that may ultimately hurt me.

How to best do that I have no idea. Yet. I will come up with one.

Weight 246.0  BMI 38.62

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Wednesday Day 21 The Wahl's Way Day 4

Slim For Life

I really like the name of the book, Slim for Life. It is my goal for my life. I want to be slim enough. What is enough? Enough to where I can hike, swim, canoe climb, ride and do whatever I want. 

Today and the rest of this week, I am working on incorporating two of the tips I found in Jillian Michael's book Slim for Life with what I am eating the Wahls Way. The 2 tips I want to focus on today are:
  • Get down 3 points...
  • Find a restaurant that has a food I like that's part of the Wahl's Way and stick with it. 3 points

Get down 3 points

I will make sure I use whole body exercises that make me move up and down, up and down. onto and off of the floor.

In my yoga I have started trying to incorporate more getting up and down in the routine that I make up each week. I started out only able to do 30 minutes of yoga and only having 15 minutes of that time be in poses where i was standing. Now I tackle poses that require that i stand on one leg for minutes at a time. Because of that, my knees and ankles are getting stronger. 

I am much more at ease with my getting up and down onto and off of the floor. An interesting problem I have run across is that I still worry about kneeling, I seem to be conditioned to be afraid to get onto my knees. It also means that I don't really know how to get up and down well into poses. It's now less that I can't do something, and more about my not knowing how to do it. I need to think through what I need to do and how I can get up and down more easily.

I need and want to practice how to get into and out of the cobra pose, how to get up from the bridge and the cobra poses. Which will in turn help me get into and out of chairs, up and down from the floor and  up and down when cleaning. 

Find a restaurant that has a food I like and stick with it. 3 points

Actually I have friends that have found a restaurant that they like and I want to eat with them so I need to order food that I like and fits the Wahl's Way. I need to get my 3 points that way. 

The restaurant I go to on Wednesdays has a buffet that includes really good french toast. It kicks my assets continually. All day yesterday I said to myself that I can order the Chicken Breast Salad. I like it. I ate it all last year. This year I found that I liked the French Toast more. Or at least I want to eat the French Toast more. Craving sugar this year, last year I wasn't wanting sugar as much.

So, well, on Wednesdays for lunch until the end of this 90 days, its' going to be a grilled chicken breast salad. I will need to leave off the cheese. It comes on a bed of lettuce, with different veggies every week. It all depends upon the cook of the day.

It is my hope that at the end of this 90 days, I will be able to more easily make choices that will be great for me. I know that wheat, cakes, cookies, etc are triggers for me. I want to get to where I feel so good I want to stay feeling well so much that I don't make terrible food choices.

  • Factoid: Today I got interrupted early, couldn't do my yoga, ate OK at the restaurant but it wasn't enough fat so I never felt full, so I ran away to McD. I had a mango pineapple smoothie and 2 McDouble's. I feel better. A whole lot better. Part is the fat helped me feel better. Both the McDoubles and my smoothie of choice are high in fat. 

  • Lesson Learned: Eat before I go, something that has some fat if I am going to eat the salad. 

Wahl's diet 3 things I learned about nutrition

  • That my body has a need to be filled with nutritious foods of all kinds, not just leafy greens. That i need a variety. 
  • That I can have other things after I have the 9 cups of veggies.
  • That I can feel good enough that I won't want the trigger foods and can pre-pave or prepare myself to succeed if I think I might not order what is healthy to me.

Here are some of my trigger foods. They are all pretty unacceptable just because of the huge amounts of trans fats and corn syrup. Both are killers. i want to be alive and enjoying life in 20-40 years.

If I eat syrup and french toast at the restaurant, I totally desire  these trigger foods for the next 5 days. It's not just one day off plan for me. It always seems to be many more than that. 

There was a post today in one of the health groups I moderate about avoiding trigger foods. For me, I don't think that is possible. Too many foods are triggers. People go, shop the outside of the store. Great here's the dairy. Here are meats that don't satisfy me (my body is very particular about what it wants and needs.) Most fish aren't something I enjoy or feel satiated after eating. Some help me,many don't. 

In many Walmarts they have placed carbonated drinks around the outside. In Sam's Club where I shop, much of what I desire to buy isn't really around the outside perimeter of the store. Stores are getting smart. They adapt. I may have to search for the organic veggies.

I have to adapt just as quickly. I don't do many trans fats, very little packaging and no drinks that are prepared for me.

And guess what? I feel good. 

I'm not bummed about my eating today. Glad I found things out and I'm glad that I didn't buy the Milk Duds or go to Whataburger. That could have very easily ended up being a disaster. 

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Tuesday Day 20; Wahl's Diet Day 3

Wahl's Diet

I got up this morning and fought through a new yoga routine. It didn't look so bad when I input it into the Wii. Then when I did it, I noticed that I got tired really quickly. When I totaled up the day and checked out the graph, I found that even though I had lost a pound, I had burned 30 more calories than I had in the two previous routines, even though I had a number of floor exercises. I even had enough energy to get up and down off of the floor and was able to do 2 downward facing dog poses while getting up from a kneeling position. That is something that I have only tried sporadically. 

My food intake was interesting. The veggies were OK, it was the meat that I struggled to eat at the end of the day. I need protein or I tire easily, but tonight, I could only get the protein in me at the last minute. I have a rule that I can't eat after 8 PM at all. I try to make that 7 PM. Through the years I have found that I like the way my body feels when I eat in an intermediate fasting kind of a way. I thought about not doing the intermediate fasting when I started the Wahl's diet but I like the way my body feels. It's been a different experience, learning how to listen to what my body wants and needs.

I need to start measuring my veggies, but have decided to wait until later in the week or early next week. Until then I am trying to concentrate on how much of what I am eating and how many colors there are each day. 

Wahl's Diet; What Kinds of Veggies

I am concentrating on the other than green leafy veggies. I have never had a problem eating green leafy veggies or any veggies but have not ever looked at my body possibly needing more than the leafy greens while I am eating leafy greens. The leafy greens are the best, right? That's what everyone needs to eat more of. Or so I thought. 

I do feel well. Intentionally I've added more red, orange and purple veggies. I bought a head of purple cabbage and also added some carrots into my daily eating. Each day I make sure I include oranges and red grapefruit. I have added a lot of onions, at least a cup so I can see if the anti-inflammatory aspect will help me. 

Moving Better and Less Pain With Wahl's Diet

I am able to move slightly better with less Tylenol and ibuprofen. Actually, I am taking much less and moving more. Also I am more willing to move more. I don't mind getting up and moving around. Normally I am in enough pain that I don't want to move at all. That  does seem to be more than a little better. 

My Anxiety Level

My anxiety is less. I am able to get myself out the door and go swimming. I can go sit in the building during the day and get work done. There is something different about me. When I say I want to leave at a particular time then I am able to get out the door fairly close to that time. I knew that Dr. Wahl was using it to treat PTSD in the Iowa City VA. I didn't know if the diet would work with me or not. 

Weight: 247.4 BMI: 38.82

Monday, April 15, 2013

Monday Day 19 Wahl's Diet Day 2 overall it's day 19

I went to bed early, planned on getting up early but that didn't happen. It felt so good to be lazing around in bed and to be honest? I like life much better when it starts at 10. So I hopped up at 10, got on my Wii and got moving. 

My standard morning has become an hour of yoga. It's not weight loss yoga, but it does seem to help me when I start my day. I like the way I feel when I do it. I need to take one day off yoga each week. At that time I am thinking that I want to change up the routine that I do. The reason I want to take a day off is that I found when I stopped for the four days that during that stop I maintained most of my strength, such a long layoff did affect my flexibility. 

This week I put more floor exercises into my yoga routine. Before, I just didn't want to go through the struggle of getting up and down. I am much more able mentally and physically to get up and down off the floor. I also have noticed that I can move from pose to pose without hanging on to the walls. Big step up for me. I also can start the downward facing dog 

Yea me!!!

Last night I fell into a box of fruit bars. I had hoped I would be able to stop at 1 or 2. I didn't need the sorbitol that was in them and I didn't need to eat the whole box. It wasn't the calories that were in it, it was that I put something that is still a trigger food into my life. And on Day 1 of the Wahll;s diet that I want to do well on. 

Sorbitol isn't the worst thing on the face of the earth but it's definitely not the best thing. It has been reported to cause swelling in the face and the body and it is known as a possible cause for blurred vision. Since I am on the Wahl's Diet to try to see if it will control body inflammation enough to where I can move better and enjoy life more, the sorbitol was a not so good move. Especially since I couldn't stop eating the bars. 

I did have a hard time getting up this morning. Not sure what caused the problem. My muscles don't ache more, but I am not moving as well as I did yesterday. It's hard to know what is causing what. 

Today I am following the Wahl's Diet more closely. I am not going to fall into a box of fruti juice bars. I am getting ready to eat lunch and swim. 

Weight 249.1 BMI: 39.10

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Wahl's Diet and a More Planned Restart on Day 18

I spent much of the day yesterday reading about the Wahl's Diet. It's an expensive book, at least to me, And realizing that 8 days later, 8 whole days out of the 90 days I have let drizzle by. I can eat and work. I just am not used eating well and working. I am used to eating whatever I want just to get me working. I need this to change. 

One of the reasons I am looking at the Wahl's Diet is that I am working on finding a way to better my mental and physical health more naturally. At this point, part of what that means is that I want to find ways to eat what my body needs and not rely on as many supplements. The reason for that is that I find it is much easier to buy organic produce and control what is going into one's body.

Supplements aren't something that one can control what goes into them. Yes, certain companies have great reputations, but somehow I would rather spend my money on good foods than supplements.

I also don't know how well supplements will be absorbed.

Dr. Wahl also makes the point that when one eats foods there are other nutrients available in foods that are then available to our bodies, some advantages that may not even be known to be important yet.

There are charts in the back of her book that I don't have a way to print out, but I took some notes. In the first chapter she lays out a way of eating that doesn't really mean that everything is taken away, but states that before you can eat anything else you should...

Here's what I should to start:
Eat nine cups of fruits and veggies

3 cups should be leafy greens, vegetables like spinach, romaine lettuce and collards, etc.
3 cups should be brightly colored veggies or fruits, beets, red cabbage, carrots, berries, oranges or watermelons.
Eat 3 more cups of veggies before eating any kind of starchy veggies or grains.

Uhhh, I guess there aren't going to be any bread sticks or rolls with my salads.

That's what I want to do tomorrow. There is of course more. but those are the main goals. Doesn't say I have to limit this or that, just that I need to eat those 9 cups of colorful veggies and fruits first. This is kind of what my day will probably look like.

  • For breakfast, a grapefruit and a spinach omelette with no cheese. I'm cheese sensitive and need to get back away from the dairy I've been over dairy problems for a while but wanted to try yogurt once again. When I tried it, I got back all kinds of weird cravings and didn't feel full even when I had eaten enough calories. 
  • For lunch a salad with eggs. I am a bit worried about having too many eggs, but since it's a first day, I am not going to sweat it. I have a great organic spring mix and want to add more spinach to it. I'm also adding carrots, an orange, onions, and purple pepper. If I'm really hungry, I can add another grapefruit.
  • For dinner, 2 hamburgers with a medium sweet potato. I like eating that way and think I will be able to succeed. with it. 
  • If I get cravings or get hungry , the only option is more veggies, more meat or a nap. Since I want to get a bunch of writing done, I need to focus on the options that are available like veggies and meat. 
  • I really don't need to feed my cravings if I want to be healthy.
I want to get back into the Yoga in the morning.

I also did a bunch of reading in Neal Barnard's book, Power Foods for the Brain.
In this book, Neal Barnard talks about if one doesn't eat as much meat and dairy that one has a lower chance of Alzheimer's Disease. I don't do much dairy anyway Just the thought of a bowl of milk every morning for breakfast is enough to make me cringe.

He believes in no or very little fat. Adding in grains that cause me indigestion and quite possibly help add to my joint pain unless taken in severe moderation is something I really don't want to think about,much less do. Oatmeal puts me to sleep. Popcorn makes me want to not move, even when the popcorn's organic (but wow was it ever fun to experiment with it!)

The one thing that Barnard says that I like and accept is to exercise along with a diet change, not instead of it. Exercising to make one's body healthy makes sense. When one diets and doesn't exercise, the amount of health that one's body can acquire is limited.

So where am I starting from? Here:

Weight 250 BMI 39.24

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Day Hmmmm it's Saturday but what day of my 90 days is it?

I was asked to set up feeds so people could subscribe. I'll do that tonight. 

I've taken  5 (I thought it was 8, but in reality was only 5) days to look at where I am and what I was doing. When I first started out, I thought that what I wanted was to be less weight, physically healthy and had thought about little beyond that. As the days went by and I started writing again, I realized that I wanted my 90 days to be about more than just physical health. I wanted a life in which I felt physically well, but also was able to get the kind of life that I desired and be able to do the kinds of things I like to do 

There are a million and one diet books out there. I have read many of them. My favorite of all of them is Neanderthin by Ray Audette.  When it was falling apart, I wanted to buy a new copy. I hoped it would be available electronically so it would be searchable. Not only was it not available in a Kindle or NOOK format, a new copy would be over $100 and a used copy more than 5 times what I paid for my original 2000 version. I took out my iphone and made a PDF copy of the ragtag book that I had. 

I never seem to stop reading diet books, seldom slow watching The Biggest Loser as long as it is on the Internet on NBC or Netflix. I'm always hoping for some inspiration. An answer that works. 

I have maintained (pretty much with a few minor bumps up and then back down), but not since then have I been able to sustain a longer period where I am able to make a large weight loss happen. 

There is a lot of Atkins or fat bashing that happens, yet when I felt the best was on a modified Atkins that was mixed with Neanderthin principles. The original Atkins was made before we started the large massively nasty, huge feedlots. There was less concern that people were eating fat that contained so many toxins. 

And yet, even then both Atkins and Audette pushed for grass fed. And frankly? In Texas grass fed is easier. Field after field have cow after cow grazing. 

Here's why it's important to me. For me to lose weight, my body seems to require fat and oil. There are all kinds of people who tell me to eat low fat, but if my body doesn't feel good or ever satisfied when I am eating that way,  I can't or won't maintain any weight loss I can achieve.

Here's what I have been struggling with or thinking through the past 5 days:

  • Do I feel better and more satisfied using beef, chicken or turkey? (Pork, while OK is nothing I ever crave.)
  • How do I feel about fried foods? Do I want to continue them using coconut oil? Olive oil can turn on one when it is heated too much?
  • If I only like my chicken fried (no breading needed), can I live with the crap that is shot through them? (water, chemicals I know nothing of which often can include msg.)
  • Do I really want a hamburger or a different cut of beef? 
  • What about organ meats? Do I want to continue them in my life style?
  • How am I going to replace mayonnaise? (yes all the books say I can make it, but I am not totally kitchen handy and I don't own a regular blender.)
  • What kind of exercise do I want to try to do? What do I want to maintain day after day?
  •  Will Yoga Continue to work for me?
  • What about HIIT? (High Intensity Interval Training)
  • Do I want to include bread at all? The only way to get away from much of the nasties is to make my own. I don't really want to hunt down and buy Ezekial Bread or it's equivalent.
  • What is my stance on GMO's in my personal diet?
  • And lastly, is my goal to just drop the weight so I can move more and decide about the rest later? Or is it to become  more balanced and learn what I need to do to become more healthy?
I'm not sure what I am going to decide to try yet. I just know that if I don't have fat in my diet, my body doesn't feel at all well or satiated. 

So I am reading the rest of today and figuring out a better plan that will better satisfy me tomorrow. Guess you will have to come back to find out cause I don't know the answer yet. 

No starting weight until tomorrow. :)

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Wheat Thins, Mental Illness and Nabisco: Day 14

Wheat Thins, YouTube, Nabisco and Mental Illness

Tonight I saw a Wheat Thins Commercial on YouTube that irked me. In the past I would have gone across the street to Whataburger and eaten a double Whataburger Jr. The Wheat Thin commercial by Nabisco/Pepsico which showed restraint use as a common part of treatment made me feel icky and generally when I feel icky I eat. Instead of choosing that response today, I chose to make a video response to the Wheat Thins commercial. 

In the past I have struggled to make webcam videos. I always seem to see myself as fat first and as a person second so webcam videos where I don't always look at all my best or where I give my views or opinion about something haven't happened before now. Today, I managed to get a video response together that was good enough to where I would let it out the door and onto the Leadership Tidbits YouTube Channel. I'm still somewhat amazed I was able to do that but I am excited that I could. Growing and facing many of my fears and anxieties is a large part of what must happen during this 90 Days if I am to end up where I want to end up.

Pain is Temporary; Quitting is Forever

I must have read the saying "Pain is temporary, quitting is forever" a lot today. Doing a webcam video wasn't painful but it definitely sent shivers of anxiety up and down my spine. It would have been easier to not make the video.Much easier. It also would have been easier to not face that Lance Armstrong doped for his races, but I digress.

Instead I am now hoping to make and incorporate more webcam videos as a part of this blog. I might get a hair cut and definitely will wear some different outfit.

My Video Response

 And Below; The Video that Earned My Response 

Blog A Book Chapter 1 90 Days to a Healthy Balanced Recovery

Making My Own Yardstick this is a rough draft (c) 2013 Thanks for the input. Tenth round of editing, close to final.

Making My Own Yardstick
How I can find a healthy, balanced recovery in 90 Days

This journey to somehow find a healthy, balanced recovery

isn't new to me. My dream of finding a healthy, balanced recovery started out as a hope 12 years ago when my therapist asked me what I wanted out of life. I had no idea what I wanted. I wandered around the subject talking about how I didn't really know who I was and that I wasn't sure what I wanted, but I did know that I wanted to be happy. All I wanted out of life was to be happy.
I wanted to measure myself with my own yardstick, but I didn't have one. Chameleon-like, all I knew and had done for 45 years was measure myself according to other people’s thoughts and expectations. So I wanted to be happy and live according to what I wanted in life. I just had no idea what that meant to me.

It's easy to let life get in one's way. I was an advocate. “I surely couldn't just stop that, could I?” when I told people I was tired and wanted out. What would the people I was advocating for do? And the NAMI Consumer Council needs someone, would you please run? We need you. I said I'd give it a year. Seven years later I was still there.

The clubhouse could use your computer skills. The State of Michigan really needs to hear what you have to say, can you attend this meeting? Can you present here? Have you thought about attending church again? You could do so much. We need a speaker. We need a trainer. Why don’t you do this or that? You’re good at it. You should write this. You should write that.

  • You need to…
  • We need you to…
  • We want you to..
  • We don’t want you to….
For almost my entire life, I felt like I was walking down the street of life in clothes that didn't fit. Socially clueless and internally inept, I had nothing in my internal wardrobe or external life that I felt fit me as a person. I felt as if there was nothing I could ever do that would help things fit better. Sometimes the clothes were just the wrong clothes. I would be dressed in a pair of jeans and work boots when the situation called for an evening gown. Or I would be in an evening gown and I needed another type of outfit entirely.

I felt that way everywhere:

  • At my parent’s house
  • At my house
  • At school
  • At my daughter’s house
  • When relaxing
  • When driving my car
  • When working
  • While camping
  • In meetings I was asked to attend
  • In meetings I crashed my way into
Nowhere did I feel I fit the situation.

Living that way made my insides like cheap ground hamburger-the pink slime kind of ground hamburger, not anything close to ground chuck and certainly not anything close to ground sirloin.  The pink slime stayed in me, packed so tight there was little room for something else to slip in. So not only did the clothes not fit, but inside of those clothes I felt like I was pink slime.

Changing people's lives? 

I still felt like pink slime in a costume. I was afraid my pink slime would be discovered. During Community Mental Health Board meetings? Pink slime strikes again. While at a meeting or sitting on the NAMI Board? More times of feeling like pink slime in an ill-fitting costume while in an ill-fitting situation.

Be, Do Have?

When I didn't have a sense of belonging anywhere; it seemed I could never get comfortable. I simply didn't know how to BE, or I couldn't know how to be because I had no identity within me. My therapist would talk about how society was centered around the philosophy of Have, Do, Be not Be, Do Have. In many ways it went right over my head. I had a choice?

Essential Lifestyle Planning (ELP)

In 2001, while in mental health treatment: I had the opportunity to have a really great type of person-centered plan (PCP) written up for me. It was called an Essential Lifestyle Plan (ELP). When I went to see my therapist we were discussing what I wanted to have as the primary goal for my ELP.

She talked to me for an hour and then said, “It sounds like you want to construct an identity as a happy healthy and independent person. What the hell, it sounded like a good primary goal. I mumbled something like sure, was brutally booted out of Community Mental Health when I exercised my rights to not submit to a particular treatment. I remember thinking, "how could they think I was OK enough let roam free on the streets when I felt like pink slime all the time?  Why that did they want me in that one treatment when it had failed 4 or 5 times before?

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

I didn't know how to tell them what I needed so they told me repeatedly to go ask a store clerk for change that I didn't need, so I could get a better sense of self. Or to half smile at the pink slime. Ignore the pink slime and it will go away? I tried but the pink slime never fit right into the outer garments I was trying to wear. DBT to me meant Diabolical Behavior Therapy and was truly a diabolical experience. My pink slime never fit in DBT either. Skills Training Manual; Dialectical Behavior Therapy  

I felt like I was caught in a revolving door where on one side was what was real to me and on the other side was what was real to other people. When we were doing the Essential Lifestyle Plan other people had written what they thought were great things about me on huge pieces of Flip Charts paper (the link is to the Listen to me Workbook.

They said I was:

  • A great grandmother
  • Good mother
  • A good daughter
  • Fun
  • Strong
  • Good advocate
  • Good sense of humor
  • Good writer
Every time I started to hope that the words might be true so I would try to go through the door, the exit was blocked. I would go around and see the words but they did me no good. I couldn't find a way to get what had been written on the Flip Charts into me. I couldn't grasp the words nor stand anywhere close to them. I sat empty and totally alone in a room full of people who were talking to me, about me, trying to help me find answers for my life.

My Person Centered Plan did get done (great book about person-centered planning, my personal story isn't in it). And it helped me look at my life in a way that I never had before. We looked at

  • What were my favorite things?
  • What were my second favorite things?
  • What were my third favorite things?
  • How did I like to be treated?
I didn't really have any idea how I would like to or would want to be treated.

There was a gaping scar where the answer should have been. It didn't matter how many times I tried to find something to fit, I couldn't.  It was more than the square peg in a round hole thing. Way more. The scars were filled with pink gooey glue. Like rubber cement that never fully dried and never really came loose no matter how one picked at it.

But progress was made; I was able to figure out what some of my favorite things were.

Still, empty was empty, the pink goo didn't fill the void. The not being able to be in mental health treatment that would have been a good fit was painful, but looking back now, I am no longer sure there is such a thing. Not knowing how to even think about beginning (was the pink slime supposed to stay or go?) and not being able to afford to see someone to help as much as I needed to was mentally daunting. I just kept adjusting whatever clothes I could find to fit over the sucking chest wound that was filled with toxic nasty slime and trudging on whatever path was in front of my feet. The path that didn't fit me well before, didn't fit me any better now.

I trudged on.

I continued to change other people’s lives as I trudged along while feeling that I was a fraud. Was I a wool in sheep's clothing?

The years have trudged on as I trudged on. I lost them. They went by without me being what or who I wanted to be. Twelve to thirteen years later I still have no idea what I think is great about me. 
It’s 2013 and I am still wandering.

  • I’m not sure who I am.
  • I’m not sure who I want to be.
  • I don’t know where I want to end up.
I do know that I've given myself 90 days to find out I’m just not sure how I am going to figure it all out. I do know that if one doesn't have some rough end point one gets lost and ends up on the wrong path. I've been on one my whole life. So I guess the first thing is a plan.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Day 10, Healthy Plan Recap

Today is Day 10. The last ten days have been both easy and hard. This is a draft as I think about what i want to do and where i want to end up. Updated but still a draft.

Walgreens https://www.walgreens.com/steps/stepslanding.jsp

My 90 Day Manifesto is to become more healthy. At times during the past 10 days, I have wanted so much to focus on nothing but losing weight. And to only focus on dropping pounds. The eat less, exercise more thing and to just pound, pound, pound until it's gone. The problem with that is that I am not sure if I can maintain a weight loss if I don't make a lot of good habits

But what I want to more than anything is to have a better life, not just lose weight. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to walk, run, bike, hike, canoe, ride my motorcycle better. I want a better quality of life. This is not the first time I have started out just wanting to lose weight and then realized that i really needed to get better balance in my life.

Ya know, I can't do this today. I need to finish figuring out where I want to be and what i want to do to get there. I need to finish cogitating. I know where i would like to be in 90 days 60-80 pounds down. But what else do I want?

Todays Weight: 247.1 BMI: 38.79 My goal for this week is 245. Not sure if I will meet it or not. That's kind of scary to me.

What I am noticing is that a number of exciting things are happening to me. When I go to eat now, I am more controlled. I can eat part of a sweet potato, pass up foods that aren't healthy for me, substitute one thing for another. I wonder some if I will still be able to do that when I run into regular situations. But I am in a better place mentally regarding my health than I have been before.

Also, I am able to move faster, want to move more and that my knees aren't bothering me as much during yoga. My body is finally becoming more stable. That is incredibly important to me since I want to be able to walk, hike, bike etc. I'm trying to figure out just what that might be like. What that might mean to me.

In the past I was more interested in my toys being the kind that have motors. Now I seem to be really interested in considering non-motorized toys. I've started to dream about doing things that mean that I really move while doing them.

I would like to try a kayak like the one below, so I can get out and enjoy rivers while I am in Michigan. Along with that I need a life vest. I want to be able to fit into a regular size one. Maybe one of those one size fits all that I  want to be able to fit into and not worry about whether I can fit into it or not. I am not sure what kind of kayaking I would like to do yet either. That makes it hard to know what to look at.


I'd like to get back into bicycle riding again. I enjoy doing intervals on recumbent exercise bikes. There is a problem also and I'm not sure that I can get my knees to bend enough to ride a regular bike. I would like to try a recumbent bike that can go on a road. I like the recumbent style a lot. Some have steering wheels. Some have different types of handlebars,some have steering under the seat. I worry about arm and shoulder numbness with a higher steering mechanism.

I also need new (or at least different shoes now. Some that give me more support as I walk more so my knees will hurt less. It's kind of weird to think about shoes and all the options there are now. When I was playing basketball the option was Converse All Stars or Keds. Now there are so many other options. What is an exertion shoe? Do I want to run? And I know I like both Reebok and New Balance shoes.

And I would like to try some different things like a medicine ball. Or kettle bells. It seems really strange to me that I would think about things like running shoes, kettle bells or medicine balls now instead of things like cake, cookies, or candy. Don't get me wrong. I still think about Milk Duds. There's a store that carries them that is within walking distance, but I would rather walk to the workout room than the store that sells the candy.